WEBVTT

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that I'm Jason and I'm a high school student and we have mom Jason's mom here

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okay and so I'll start the pitch okay

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I'm also coming home late and I look distraught

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hey mom I'm good yeah I was you know I needed to run home yeah it's okay

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well you know it's a little tired I was running a bit um I you know like fucking

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Enrique again starting shit with me well you know how I told you how Enrique is

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always picking on me in school when he's around his friends but when I'm with my

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friends you don't pick on me and so today we walked out of school and so

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people my friends and the other Enrique's friends were fighting and I

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decided to jump in because you know that was my time to fucking punch them and

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and and and so yeah and plus my friends were fighting so I had to stand up for

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them and so yeah this is basically what happened

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it's a huge fight yeah he told you he keeps on fucking picking up on picking on

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me when and and he he thinks he's so tough because if this is just me and him

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he won't do anything why was that a strike sorry so should we do a read okay

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we keep going so it sounds like Enrique was bullying you a little bit you're

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upset with him because it sounds like he was bullying you is that right no he's

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not bullying me he's he's not he's just he just wants to talk shit to me but I

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ain't afraid of him he's not I'm not being bullied he he's just that was a

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strike right that was a strike one the the bullying yeah

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so the comment is that she was assuming how I felt in a way like diagnosing what

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was happening to me when I didn't say that I was being bullied yeah the comment

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the comment was that there was also a strike because of the there was there

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was the person was like this Samantha was like this and Samantha saying that

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that was the thinking of posture yes

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right so the there was a challenge and the comment is that there was a

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challenge in what I was trying to say wasn't really being understood by the

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mom Samantha and you said something that then Samantha was trying to give advice

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right so that if I'm understanding correctly you're saying that I was

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trying to say that this that my experience with Enrique and she was

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trying to reflect back what I was saying so the mom was trying to understand

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right and she was trying to make sure that she understood what I was trying to

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say but it was just that that additional word of bullying which is

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something that I didn't say that's where the strike came in yes

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yeah so Timmy saying we have to be intentional about the way that we're

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reflecting back and make sure that we're not projecting what we think is

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happening and and I would add to that you want to focus on I like bringing out

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the thoughts and feelings and emotions that are being expressed so Timmy was

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saying that this is even more important because when police get involved you

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don't police are documenting this stuff right and so you have to be very

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intentional about the words that they're using that you're using because then

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that could escalate right like using the word bullying right okay so let's move

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forward okay so like I said Enrique keeps yeah he's all he acts all tough in

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front of his friends but not but now when we're alone or he only comes at me

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when he's with his friends and I'm alone and not really when I'm with my friends

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okay so it feels like it sounds like Enrique is not having your back when

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you're in a situation where you guys are together and he's with his friends seems

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like he's just pushing you aside right so I mean yeah he's pushed he's like

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he's physically pushing me but I mean he's not supposed to have my back he's

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not my friend but so we we get into it right and and and so we're fighting

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outside of school and security staff sees us and we get to running right and

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we're all pumped up right and and I'm with my friends and we're all crossing

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the street you know and we're like yeah like you know we beat them up and all

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this and we're hyped up because we're like we're gonna get them again tomorrow

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and and so we're crossing the street and these cars want to honk at us we we

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didn't give a fuck right I give him that but they get to honking they were just

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doing too much and they were like stupid kids get off the street so of course

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we're gonna go there and fuck with the dude and we're pushing his car and and

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the cops roll up and they're like they turn on the lights and we all just split

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and I'm and I'm running and and that's that's why I was out of breath how you

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feeling how you feeling now a little bit calmer are you still nervous about

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something are you still pissed off at Enrique do you feel like there's

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something you want to do about him well so you want to strike to what happened

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yes so she's stacking questions yes she what was the advice right yeah

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so the initial questions were perfect and also you want to make sure that that

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the that Samantha needs to to be able to communicate to me that she understands

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what I just experienced which you know like it sounds like you know that

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interaction was was stressful and and then do the questions right but like

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this whole thing about like this me running away from the police right was

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completely like yo I just ran away from the police like do you understand that

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right kind of thing so we'll move we'll move forward and so yeah and so like I

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don't know what's gonna happen tomorrow I'm pretty sure you know security saw

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who that I was fighting with with Enrique and and I'm sure I think he saw

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me I don't know if the cops are gonna be there tomorrow but I know that I gotta

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go there they're gonna be looking for revenge cuz we whooped them you should

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seen Enrique we whooped them and I know they're gonna want revenge and so now

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I'm wondering like what I gotta do to protect myself but also the cops are

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gonna be there so I don't I don't know what to do then do you want to stay home

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tomorrow yes yes I want to be home tomorrow I'll call you out you're gonna

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stay at home stay home but again make sure you're you're the the that that

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you're that the person understands that you're understanding what they just went

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through and be able to be that mirror for them and reflect back what they just

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said so that I know that you fully understand the picture that I just

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experienced yes comments

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so the comment was that this person is saying that they would if they were

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ran home to their mom and told them that they just ran from the police and to

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then hear the mom say well how do you feel would be like this person saying

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that they would feel like hey don't you care that I just ran away from the

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police like so again like the reflecting back would be that much more important

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because then then then I'm hearing from you that what I just told you right

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which is so it lets me know that you understand the full picture and that I

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just and so your question is like

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mm-hmm right so that's that's the challenge right because part of the

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reflecting back the comment was well let me just say this the reflecting back

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like you're saying that you want to be able to communicate that this is like a

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severe and it could be very dangerous situation and you want your son to

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understand that that you feel that way but at the same time you don't want to

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escalate the person and make them freak out that this is dangerous and so I

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would say that you again you definitely want to reflect back and and get this

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person to a off the field right and then that's where you have those

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conversations right like you know this you know this is I feel concerned about

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this these are my concerns right but on the field you don't want to you don't

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want to center yourself and say hey my concerns are this that and the third

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again you want to get him off the field and then you can talk shop and

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strategize and and and lay out your concerns right it could be sort of what

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would be a better way of saying do you want to stay home tomorrow yeah how can

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I help you feel safe it sounds like you don't feel safe going back to school

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tomorrow because you you you're looking for some kind of protection but you're

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also it seems like you're also concerned about the police being there while you

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have your protection how can I help you how can I help you feel safe and so then

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I'd be like I want to stay home tomorrow hey everyone give it up for Samantha

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what's up comment back there yes you come a flash back there sorry

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so the question is the question is what do you do when you can't reflect back

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because of cultural differences or if there's a if the person is really in

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crisis and and and you you don't have the space to reflect back the question

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is what do you do then and I mean I would let the person finish my recommend

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what what do y'all think any answers from the crowd yes

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even reflecting what you do not saying I'm not understanding you maybe I can't understand your accent

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maybe you're speaking relatively and I didn't get all of that but I understand that you're upset

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like even just the base level of what you did get is helpful

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so the comment was like reflect back what you can and and and so like even if

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you don't understand the language you can understand it what what like you can

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sort of understand the expression that they're trying to communicate and and

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then there's this piece about taking responsibility right I don't understand

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you said something about you're speaking too quick I would stay away from saying

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you're speaking too quick and more so own the responsibility of like I I

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didn't catch that right and the piece about like reflecting back is a skill

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and so I would encourage everyone here to do this on your day-to-day life when

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you're not in crisis yes

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parents

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what I'm what's that before I forget everything that you just said the the

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question was like what if the the mom can't provide the safety for their son

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and you were going

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right and so the the and so you asked the question and you also offer some

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recommendations and your recommendations were like in if the mom can't

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necessarily provide the safety can they you know look elsewhere and and refer to

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other folks and yet and again I would say that those are conversations that

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happen off the field that's why you don't that's and that's a great example

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why you you don't want to say can would you like to stay home because maybe

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that's not the answer right and and so you want to go back to like how can I

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support how can I help you feel safe calm calmly get them off the field and

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then troubleshoot like you know I can't stay tomorrow I got to work and you know

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this right kind of thing and again all these great ideas that you came up with

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are things that happen off the field cool one more time for Samantha thank

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you

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yeah Samantha how did you feel in that process how was that process for you

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and figure out how to

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look at that going on like you know the person and like reflect on it going out

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with you like okay so you're a typewriter I take it on your level right now as you

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know like you know and figure out like how to calm down so it's a great game so

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yeah so Samantha feels like this is a great game and it's a great way to

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practice when you're not in a crisis mode so that you're that much more

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comfortable when you're in crisis yes

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yeah and so

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it makes it more combative because that person can right right so there's a

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comment around like concerns around the this the pitcher also being the umpire

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and so this is our first run and as we thank you for the feedback and so as we

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move forward we're definitely gonna try to train up more folks to like take that

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take this on and we can it was that we can try the audience when you see a

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strike call it yeah yell at the television screen and be like that was a

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strike great idea up next we're gonna switch